I thought I would write one more blog, just to update everyone on how I am and to put down in writing some things I’ve learnt over the last 18 months during this amazing journey.
So, here are the lessons that cancer taught me..........
• Never Give Up
There were times when I wanted to give up, when I honestly felt like I couldn’t keep going with the treatment or cope with what I was going through, but each time I pulled myself together and kept going. There were a few times I wanted to give up on the treatment (as the surgery removed the cancer the rest of my treatment was to give me a better chance of the cancer not returning but I may have been fine without) but I didn’t, I kept going and powered through and am so pleased I did now.
• Believe in yourself
Having cancer has definitely taught me how strong I can be and that I’m capable of so much more than I would have ever thought. I coped with all the physical side effects (I will never complain about having a cold again!!) as well as the emotional side better than I expected, which I am really proud of, but at the same time.........................
• It’s ok to find things hard
I’m proud of how well I coped, but it’s ok to have bad days and get a bit down about everything I’ve been through, even now. I won’t let it keep me down for long or get the better of me, but sometimes being a little sad or overwhelmed by the fact I had cancer is ok and a good reminder of how lucky I am to be well again now and how important it is to live my life to the full because........................
• Life is short
You never know what will happen in life or what/who you might lose so it’s important to appreciate every minute you have and to live your life the best you can making yourself and others as happy as possible. I’ve always been pretty laid back, but now more than ever I won’t let the small, unimportant things in life get to me.
• My family, boyfriend, and friends are amazing!!
The constant support and love I received was overwhelming, sometimes from the most surprising sources. I had so much practical and emotional help from those around me and even at my lowest points, I felt truly blessed by how good my life is.
• You have to learn to love your scars
Having your face cut open is always going to be hard, especially as a 23 year old woman. My scars and changing body have been hard to deal and the way I look is often a stark reminder of having had cancer. Even though people tell me all the time that they don’t even notice my scars I am very aware of them and they are a constant reminder of what I’ve been through. However, I am learning to be proud of them and to show them off along with the story of what I’ve been through, they make me unique and I like that.
• It’s possible to still speak and eat even with a tongue made out of your leg!
This point is pretty straight forward, I just think it’s amazing what they can do and how little it really affects my everyday life!!
• There are some truly amazing people in this world
I have met some amazing people through having cancer who have been a real highlight of the last 18 months. I was in hospital with some other young people fighting cancer who really taught me the meaning of strength and who never gave up even at the worst times. Will, one of the guys on the ward was such an incredible inspiration to me. He was fighting a really rare form of cancer and there wasn’t much they could do for him, yet he was always so positive, always laughing and joking around and always there for me ready to cheer me up if I needed it. Unfortunately Will lost his fight with cancer earlier this year, He didn’t deserve this, but I am determined to live my life to the full for him. I’ve met plenty of other amazing people through the Teenage and young adult team at the hospital who have been through cancer and they always encourage me and remind me that it can be a positive thing as they are some of the most incredible people I know.
• Even cancer can be funny sometimes
Don’t get me wrong, cancer is a horrible disease that devastates lives, but there were plenty of times when I had to look at the funny side of things and laugh about what i was going through. If I didn’t laugh, I just would have cried. Whether it was seeing the funny side to my consultants badly phrased comments or playing ‘would you rather have cancer or....’ with Will (we both agreed we’d rather have cancer than fight Voldemort!) or our arguments about who was more ill and should get up to make the drinks, laughing about the situation was my way of coping!
• There are always positives to come out of a bad situation.
Here are a few positive things I’ve taken away from this experience;
Having learnt how strong I can be
The friends I've made
Being able to appreciate the good things in life so much more
Becoming even closer to Kev than ever
Learning the true meaning of good friends
Beating cancer!!!
I’m sure there is plenty more I could say and I’m only a year on since treatment and I’m sure I’ll continue to learn to more and more. I’m feeling so well now and so exciting for what the rest of my life might bring and all the things I’ve yet to achieve. I want to see far more awareness of cancer and support for younger people diagnosed and I want to encourage people that you can take whatever life throws at you, just be determined and keep smiling.
